coming out of the darkness🌠
"...a sharp mix of shame, regret, and longing to be better."
Today makes it 33 days since you got a new issue of this newsletter. 33 days since you received new Answers For Gen Z related content. 33 days since I wrote to you. So much has happened within that time, one of which was my first professional exam. If you saw my instagram post, you might get where I'm driving at.
I kid you not when I tell you that moments leading to judgment day played a very integral part in shaping how I think and do things now. Believe it or not, the overall experience had me also thinking a lot about AFGZ; seriously contemplating whether it was worth it, if I could actualise AFGZ’s vision with the limitations and my inconsistency and laziness in the picture.
In my last issue where I shared a positive side to the phrase, “fake it till you make it", there's a part I said:
The fact that you are daring enough to not only aspire, but work to become, tends to make you unworthy sometimes. It's your duty to understand that whilst these thoughts will creep in, you owe it to yourself to ignore them and take them as a mark that you are getting somewhere.
That's all cute, until you're overwhelmed for an upcoming major exam you've barely prepared for, and you're left with anxiety that regressed to a dark cloud of listlessness.
Hours would go by and I'd be lost in my feelings, not doing anything other than criticising myself and everything else. As I reflect, I truly wonder what really was my problem. Because, all of it would've been totally avoided if I had dutifully prepared for my exams weeks earlier, and now I'm here again with another exam sob story🤦🏾♂️
Anywho, it was in one of those moments of intense self-critique that I made up my mind to just do my best with the little time I had. I had just a day or so to prepare and if you're a Medlab student reading this, you'd know how terribly nuts that is. Talk about more pressure💀
I was truly humbled.
When that dark cloud comes, that seemingly inescapable darkness, you'd think you have no other choice but to wallow in self-pity and unproductive hours of mindless scrolling. You'd rather just want to waste away on your bed. The mere thought of coming out to get some sunlight makes you cringe. The bitter truth is: the power to send that cloud away, to come out of the darkness lies in your hands.
Which ever means you choose to do that is entirely up to YOU. Whether it's deep introspection/soliloquy or asking for some help from the big Man upstairs—no one is coming to save you unless you save yourself first.
I struggled so bad but with some help, I put in the work and you'd have to check that Instagram post I talked about at the beginning of this newsletter to find out if I passed or not. Not sorry.
Moving forward...
I just have to be better at managing my focus: chip out bits of myself to become a beautiful masterpiece. I've been on that since the school break. It isn't easy to but I owe it to my future to stay disciplined and committed to the bit. I mean, isn't that the point in the journey of becoming?
As for Answers For Gen Z, there's tons of limitations. Shout out to everyone who reached out. I had to migrate the podcast to a new hosting platform and I have a few glitches to fix, whilst trying my best to record a lot of episodes before school resumes with a device that tempts me to smash it on a wall with every minute I use it.
God of phones, abeg😭🤲🏾
I recently posted 2 new vox pops on our IG page that you should definitely engage with. More vox pops are to be shot, edited and posted. I could go on and on but in all frankness, we need a lot of help. I need your support. Truth is building AFGZ will take a lot of effort not just from me but from a community of people who believe in what AFGZ aims to achieve.
You could support us with:
your skill. join our team of volunteers.
engagements. like, share and leave thoughtful non-generic comments and feedbacks on all our content.
your money. lose change? odogwu? rich friends. whip am come abeg😭🤲🏾
Explore our linktree for these options.
Congratulations, you made it to the end. I would love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to leave a comment.
share a canon litost moment of yours.
let's catch up. how was your past semester in school?