catch-up 🥂

the stories I've got for y'all!

*sighs*

“I don't know how to figure it out. I feel like I'm trying to piece together a 100 different things, and I'm just breaking more than I can fix”

Happy Easter Monday to you. Trust you had a beautiful weekend/Easter holiday. If you're a Nigerian student that went home for the easter break, you probably should be on your way to school now. Journey mercies.

Lately, for like, four days now, I've been feeling like I'm in some sort of black hole. I mean, those words by Kamala Khan in the pull quote above describe how I feel!

I have courses to finish reading up on in preparation for my exams and I haven't covered much but instead of me to clear my mind and focus, I'm either dilly-dallying on my cell or thinking about how broke I am.

I've lost count of the number of times I've had thoughts like "Man, what can I do now to earn cash?”

“I need to learn a skill, but I don't have money to do so”

“Wow, people are planning for their future financially and I'm here wasting data on YouTube Reactions and whatnot😭"

Dude, I don't know how He does it, but God has helped me manage this past week. My mum even came to my school with food for me and some cash yesterday, and it's not even up to 24 hours since she did that and I'm already scared and thinking about what would happen next if I run out of cash?! Honestly, uni life isn't easy but I'm not writing to talk about my brokeness.

No.

I'm here to tell you about how this new environment has been and is influencing my life positively and also about how you shouldn't take someone's excesses.

Which gist should I begin with?

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I don't know if you observed, but people changed after they returned from the election break. I came back to people who were now scholars, business moguls, tech bros, and gals, resourceful and self-reliant! People that weren't involved in activities in school were suddenly participating in stuff, or on some banner and I'm like "Na wa! Indeed, the university is a place to discover and reinvent yourself”

But why does it feel like I'm getting left behind?

"You're not putting yourself out there"

seriously, what's there for me to put myself out for???

"You sing"

umm… yeah? And so what??? I'm in school for chrissakes and I live in the hostel. I can't be recording music content here and it's not like there are any singing contests in school atm. Or is there???😳

"Ok, what about your podcast🤦🏾‍♂️”

*flinches at the question*

Well, I plan on launching that in June but… with the way things are, I feel like releasing the episodes I have prepared alrea- uh NO! I won't have the time to keep up and that's why I set the launch time in June. By then, Season One should be ready🤞🏾 (when I stop being lazy)

Oh well, I guess, I'll just focus on one thing for the time being: GET MY BOOKS AND SWOT FOR MY EXAMS!!!

Thanks to Atomic Habits by James Clear, I've been working on my habits, developing good routines, and seeing some improvement. And now I'm interested in self-help books. (Please, recommend other good ones for me to read x).

Lately, I'm all about listening to the weekly uploads of The Gen Z stoic podcast, light studying (in which I really need to step up my game), listening to music, church, and Atomic habits. I barely have time for social media now. Funny? Yes, but I had a little help from Sapa 😂

As I said in the second episode of my "soon to be released” podcast, I still have like 4+ years to navigate life in uni and discover what and who I want to be.

In the words of Ms. Marvel's Sana Ali, a woman probably in her 70s and still trying to figure out who she is:

Focus on what matters now.

For me, at the moment, it is to stop snubbing people on WhatsApp and start swotting for my upcoming exams and developing positive habits that'll in the long run mold me into the best version of myself. (Also, I need to stop being a socially awkward person – whatever that means🙄)

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Phew! I've got to make this into a regular habit. So therapeutic.

I feel like I've been writing for hours but second gist.

So, I stay in one of the best, state-of-the-art Nigerian uni hostels, yeah, and I have this bunkmate that's in his late 20s (at least that's what he says) that's sometimes a cool person but most of the time, a pain in my arse.

I've gone through a lot in this guy's hands. He's treating me right, we're cool and all but there are those little things he does that vexes me from time to time.

It's all part of the experience, right? But the old Osakpolor would've put him in his place right from the moment I knew where all of his mild bullying and disturbance would lead to, but I decided to ignore all of those and just tolerate it all but I had enough on Saturday, and sparked.

It started as one of our usual fun banters but I was in a hurry to go to class and Dude locked the door because I said he was wasting my time and he said I should "apologise for being disrespectful" lmao.

Oga, all of the disrespect I've taken from you nkor?

I scolded, spoke sternly, and let him know that there's a limit to everything and that RESPECT was earned not demanded! I left the room fuming! My other roommates were just so surprised I flipped like that but here's the thing.

Fast forward to 3+ hours after I returned from lectures and decided to do one or two chores, he was being all friendly and wanted to start up a convo but I wasn't really interested and I tend to keep it that way even after he returns from the easter break.

Don't let people ride on you. Don't give them a chance.

Well, some of you might say "What if he's a strong person?" Well, I know he isn't and even if he is, I would still know how to handle him, and as far as I know, those people don't go about looking for trouble. They also respect themselves (sometimes).

So yeah, that's it. I need to have a little nap now so I can get ready for night studies. Hope you have a beautiful week.

Btw, Ms. Marvel is underrated and if you know me, you'll know that that's a lot coming from me, but that's a discussion for another day.

Still don't know if I should make this a regular thing or just hold on till after my pod launches. Let me know what you think. And also, recommend good self-help books to me✌🏾

❤️ n💡